All Wrapped Up and Tied with a Ribbon…

28 Jun

June 28, 2011

That’s how I feel about this past year. I’m wrapping it up and tying it with a ribbon. A pink ribbon I guess.

On this day last year I was told what I already knew in my heart–that I had breast cancer again.

On this day last year Bob and I drove Bobby to art camp. I kissed my precious boy and watched as he walked off with his little blue guitar over his shoulder. I so badly wanted to run after him and never let him go–but I stayed in the car. We went to Dunkin’ Donuts and then to Hawthorn Mall. We wandered in and out of stores like robots, not wanting anything, not knowing what to do. We came home and watched New Jersey Housewives. We waited.

Finally 3pm came and as we drove to our appointment, I said “I’m going to be so mad if they made us drive all the way over here to tell us that I don’t have cancer.” Yeah, I was going to tell them a thing or two.

We waited some more and finally the doctors and nurses walked in. They were warm and kind but reserved and guarded. I’m sure this wasn’t easy for them. I just wanted to tell them that they didn’t have to tiptoe around anything or feel sorry for me. I knew I had cancer. I knew what I needed to do. I’d be fine…we’d be fine. They handed me a book and folder of information, gave us hugs, and we left. From that moment on, I was on auto pilot and remained that way for well over a month.

In some ways that day seems like an eternity ago and in other ways, it seems like just yesterday. As I look back on all that has happened since that day, I can’t help but feel that even though this year was hard, in a way it was a gift. It may not be a gift I asked for or wanted but maybe it was a gift I needed.

I learned so much. I’ve grown. I have a new perspective.

I know how much I love my family and how much they love me. I know how strong we are and how fragile we are. I know how much we need each other. I know how much I want to be here.

This year brought not only unexpected difficult things that tested us to our very core, but it also brought unexpected beautiful things as well. We’re in a movie and have traveled to places we never thought we’d see. We’ve done press interviews and met people from all over the world. (We just got back from the most incredible trip to London–pictures and posts to come!) And coming back home, I appreciate so much the life we’ve built right here.

So, with the year behind me and a new outlook on life, I’m ready to wrap this one up and see what the future holds for me. In an effort to start fresh, I packed up all my scarves. The beautiful scarves that saw me through hard days and great days, traveled the world with me and hung out with me at home need to help someone else now. They need to move on.

Just like me.

But before I do, I’ll just take some time to appreciate this day–June 28, 2011. As I’m sitting here writing, Bobby is in art camp, I’m drinking Dunkin’ Donuts coffee, I have a New Jersey Housewives on my DVR ready to watch–and I’m happy.

As much as life changes, it seems to stay the same…

and that’s really a beautiful thing!

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8 Responses to “All Wrapped Up and Tied with a Ribbon…”

  1. Cousin Kathleen June 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    Cathy… Your sharing of a ‘year-in-your-life’made us laugh, cry and inspired us in innumberable ways. Enjoy the rest of your summer knowing you have wrapped up one phenomenal year.

  2. Diane June 28, 2011 at 2:18 pm #

    I’m glad that something so horrible turned into something so great. To gain new perspective on life, a greater appreciation for those in your life and to travel the world and to make new friends. After all of this, mostly, I’m just glad you’re still smiling. You, Bob and Bobby are all my hero’s – you call came through this like champs! Love you all lots! OH AND YOU MADE ME CRY – AGAIN!

    Diane

  3. Becky June 28, 2011 at 7:21 pm #

    YOU are really a beautiful thing! So thankful to have been even the littlest part of your journey. You have shared so openly and so well. Thank you.

  4. Jon Hay June 28, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    So happy to know how blessed you are just one year later. What an amazing journey you and the family were on this year, from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs…Here’s to raising even higher from this day forward!

    Best,
    Jon Hay

  5. noreen_hernan@msn.com June 28, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    Cathy, I can’t thank you enough for sharing this year with us. You and your family has been an inspiration to us. Kathleen is right, enjoy the summer! Love to you and your Bobs!!

  6. Rebecca June 29, 2011 at 5:19 am #

    I am so happy for you and your family Cathy ~ I smile each time I think of you all or see a new post from you, What gifts you have been given. Hugs ~ Rebecca

  7. Fawn July 1, 2011 at 8:45 am #

    What a difference a year does and doesn’t make!

  8. Connie July 6, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

    I’m so happy for you! You are an inspiration to all of us. May God bless you always. Love, Connie

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